So today marks the one year anniversary of my husband being in the hospital. I’ve been having a lot of anxiety and little panic attacks lately just knowing it was coming soon. I know I should focus on how far he’s come in a year but it still just takes me right back there. I remember everything. It was the worst 9 days of our lives.
This day last year we were meeting with doctors as they reviewed his chest x-ray and saw the huge tumor in his chest. They drained a liter of fluid from his chest cavity and then by lunch he was wheeled to the operating room to have a biopsy of a lymph node taken. I had no idea how to process it all, it happened so fast! We just thought he had a digestive problem…not cancer.
The 8 days that followed were insane. I never knew I could be that strong for the both of us. I never knew how our families would pull together. We were also moving out of our apartment at the same time so we had family and friends help us with that, no questions asked. It was insane. During his hospital stay he underwent 2 surgeries, blood transfusions, chemo, and a blood clot. After being sedentary for days I had to help him walk as he was so weak. I slept on a hospital cot for 9 days, ate hospital food, and got to know the staff very well. I only left to shower and grab stuff from home.
I hope to never relive this experience and I never wish this upon anyone. We made it through but I don’t know if I could do it again. His final diagnosis was Hodgkin’s Lymphoma and he went through 6 months of chemotherapy and then one month of radiation for preventative measures. His last check-up was last month and it was all positive. All his counts were normal and he was in remission. We have come a long way in a year but it’s still fresh to me. Thankfully he doesn’t remember much of it…but I do.
He is so strong, if the situation would’ve been reversed I don’t know if I could’ve been strong like him. Our lives have changed forever…he will forever have side effects from the chemo, a chance of it coming back, and it will always be something we went through our first year of marriage. I think it has made us a better couple though. We rely on each other more, trust each other more, communicate better, and appreciate what we have. We rarely fight anymore as the petty things just don’t matter. I love this man with every breath I take, I would do ANYTHING for him.